The Competitive Couple

Supermodel and I belong to a small fitness center in our town.  It's close and meets our needs.  We usually get there around 5:30 a.m., but have recently decided to arrive earlier because more people are appearing.  There are only a few cardio machines - four ellipticals, three treadmills and two exercise bikes.

A month ago, a new couple joined the gym and have been dedicated to early morning workouts with a trainer.  They look to be in their 40s, relatively trim and are pleasant enough. 

Each gym has its own social rules and culture.  It's important to learn those rules and adapt accordingly.  Some people don't care about the rules and culture.

The man (of the new couple) used to turn the volume up too loud on the news program he was watching to compete with the gym music.  I gave him "the look" a few times so he doesn't do that anymore.  He reads the sub-titles like the rest of us.  He also is more demanding than our regular morning group when it comes to what channels are on the televisions - "the look" isn't helping that situation.  He seems to be adapting to the etiquette of our gym... slowly.  His wife stays close to him but has not behaved in a way which warrants "the look".

Today, I picked up Supermodel at 5:15 a.m. and we drove to the gym.  As I was waiting to turn into the parking lot, a Suburban turned into the lot [no problem - they had the right of way], hit the gas, fishtailed for several yards, then skidded into a parking spot.  I'm pretty sure we were the only two vehicles on the road... for miles.

Supermodel:  Did you see that?

Me:  Did he just fishtail?

Supermodel:  Yeah. [chuckling]

Me:  Who is that?  Is that that little couple?  That guy looks like Steve Carell.  OHMYGOSH, they're racing us!

Supermodel:  They want the ellipticals.

The Suburban had barely stopped and the couple jumped out and ran up the stairs into the gym.  There's only about 10 people there in the morning, so it's not like we don't recognize one another.

Supermodel and I walked into the gym and sure enough, the couple were on two of the ellipticals.  I don't know how they managed to get their jackets and keys put away in the 10 seconds it took for us to  run walk through the doors.

Instead of pretending like they were invisible and we hadn't noticed their immature race, I chose to say something.

Me:  Boy.  You were really in a hurry this morning.  Fishtailing through the parking lot...

The Wife:  [looking at her husband]  See.  I told you you were going fast.

Me:  Seemed like you were racing us.

[...]

Me:  Supermodel here, figured you two wanted the ellipticals.

Supermodel gave me "the look" because I'd just thrown her under the bus.  I figured she wouldn't mind being the sacrificial lamb today.  I might have figured wrong...

The man smiled, nostrils flaring, he seemed slightly uncomfortable, but more victorious.  He said, "Everything's a competition."  His wife looked a little embarrassed, but again, more like, "I'm with my hot, Steve Carell man!"

We all gave our best fake smiles, got on with our various routines, and I think Supermodel's irritation with me for involving her without her permission, dissolved.

I'm picking her up at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow... game on.